Trauma

"I never had a lot of money"

This line establishes the backdrop of financial hardship, hinting at the broader struggles that shape the narrator's identity.

"Used to find it hard to sleep when I could hear my mother sobbing"

The image of a mother’s sorrow introduces a profound emotional weight, suggesting a home filled with distress.

"Every time I fell I would blame it on myself"

This reflects an internalized sense of guilt, indicating how the narrator has learned to carry the burden of blame.

"I want to give up trying and start doing something else"

Here, the narrator expresses a deep frustration and exhaustion from fighting against their circumstances, revealing a moment of vulnerability.

"I got a window in my head, it's a casket"

This metaphor illustrates a feeling of entrapment and hopelessness, as if the narrator's thoughts are a prison.

"Sometimes I just can't help myself"

The repetition of this line emphasizes the struggle with self-control and the cyclical nature of their emotional battles.

"My hand's around my throat"

This vivid imagery conveys a sense of suffocation, symbolizing the weight of their trauma and the difficulty of expressing it.

"Pray that I won't let go this time around"

This line captures a moment of desperation, highlighting the narrator's fear of losing their grip on hope.

"I've seen better days, and the moment fucking sucks"

The contrast between past happiness and present pain starkly illustrates the emotional decline the narrator feels.

"I know it's in my mind but I think I need some help"

This admission signifies a crucial moment of self-awareness, acknowledging the need for external support in dealing with internal struggles.